December’s supposed to be merry, happy and bright. Right?
But sometimes it’s gloomy, sad and dark. That could be true of the frightful weather outside, the emotional storm systems swirling across a fragile psyche, or any number of factors completely out of our control.
It might be fueled by the loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship, or ongoing struggles with seasonal depression, substance abuse, and making ends meet. Maybe the news fills you with dread, or time with extended family triggers your anxiety. Whatever the reason, the forced festivities can sometimes feel fake as a Costco Christmas tree.
The good news is, none of us are alone in experiencing the holidays this way, even if only for a few moments here and there. Plenty of other people in our orbit—including the one’s wearing ugly sweaters and forced smile as they chug cheap eggnog at the holiday office party—struggle in similar ways.
For me it usually comes and goes throughout the holiday season, creeping around the edges but mostly kept at bay.
Many years I’m able to exorcise those encroaching energies by watching the 1951 film adaptation of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol (aka Scrooge) and Frank Capra’s It’s A Wonderful Life.
And, of course, I personally counter-program the endless stream of seasonal hits from Mariah Carey, Paul McCartney and Jose Feliciano by indulging in a handful of tracks that explore the darker side of December.
Teenage Fanclub’s “December” is a sadness vaccine that contains a weakened dose of the virus itself.
The mournful interplay of the opening guitar and bass lines always draws me in, perfectly setting the stage for these cryptically evocative lyrics:
I'll take this chance to tell my friends what I'm thinking of
On second thought I'll think some more and tell you later on
She don't even care but I would die for her love
The song stumbles forward, propelled by a steady backbeat until the strings come in at the end to put the perfect bow on one of the best ‘90s power pop songs ever:
I've had this plan for many years but now I can't remember
I wanted to assassinate December
Phoebe Bridgers took this Merle Haggard classic and somehow made it even more devastating.
That’s no easy feat considering the bleak poetry of the original version, told from the perspective of a blue collar factory worker who got fired just before the holidays:
If we make it through December
Everything's gonna be all right, I know
It's the coldest time of winter
And I shiver when I see the falling snow
Bridgers’ moody and atmospheric take on this heartbreaking holiday hit is elevated by her contemplative and pained vocal delivery, especially when she focuses on a young daughter who doesn’t understand why the family “can't afford no Christmas gear.”
Still, the song provides a glimmer of hope as this out-of-work parent sets their sights on sunnier days that might lay ahead:
If we make it through December
Got plans to be in a warmer town come summertime
Maybe even California
If we make it through December, we'll be fine
When it comes to emotive, mid-tempo alternative pop ballads, few bands do it better than Weezer.
The lyrics follow a familiar “lovable loser falls in love” storyline, but there is an underlying seasonal sadness that almost undermines the joy of the moment:
Only love can ease the pain
Of a boy caught in the rain
Only hope will remember
Burning flame in December
Paired with the crunchy, plodding guitars, it almost feels like the song is less about the actual experience of falling in love and more about the singer trying to convince himself that he is worthy of it:
Only trust
Can inspire
Soggy lungs
To breathe fire
I love that version of A Christmas Carol and I plan to watch it after work on Christmas Eve.
In the same spirit, the "December Song" can be found on the Last's "Painting Smiles On A Dead Man" album from 1983.